U know...

...I can remember pretty recently when this blog had some content.

Lately, its just been this cathartic mental therapy drivel. What can I say.

I've been battling depression and alcoholism for three years. I have finally come to grips with the powerlessness I have. Which is why I am taking these drastic and important steps.

I've been trying to simply will girls to be my girl friend. And mostly I come off as either a chauvinist or pig, when in reality I am deathly afraid of relationships and getting really really hurt again. So afraid, that even when I finally meet someone who is wonderful, I build the whole thing up in my head, before it even happens. Its really disturbing. I may need meds too. We'll see. luckily I have so many great friends. Hopefully they see the destructive pattern I've lead for a while and have confidence in me.